The Persona...

...that other people perceive. We all have them. People we work with or interact with on a daily basis have a perception of us that may or may not be correct. We are partly to blame, if not fully, for how that persona is generated. We have an image of ourselves that is based on personal experiences, comments from others that lodge themselves deep within our psyches and what not. What we see is pretty benign when we are by ourselves. When we have to present that to the outside world it can take on a myriad of forms.

Let me give you a quick example. When I was working on the golf course we had one employee that literally said to others that he would "fuck you up." He was a muscular guy, though not really all that tall, but intimidating enough. Back then I was still lean, but my arms were pretty big from a previous job and weight lifting. I was 6'1", he was about 5'10". I was his boss, so I never had a problem with him, but the head honcho was tired of hearing the complaints about him, so I was told to put a stop to it. So when I pulled him aside one morning and and explained the situation he was just stunned. What I saw was not a bully, but someone that used that persona to cover his fears of social interaction, acceptance by his peers and his fear that he was inferior to others. We talked for about an hour and his whole demeanor changed after that. He left a few months later for another job, but I would see him periodically and the transformation was dramatic. He was engaging, with a great sense of humor and a genuine concern for others.

Which leads me to this. I am the complete opposite of that. I'm an introvert. I don't like crowds and avoid them at all costs. I prefer one-on-one engagements. I hate confrontation. That's the way I am and always have been. What I see in the mirror is the same thing I've always seen. It never changes. I've tried to change it through a myriad of mental and physical protocol's, but it ain't never gonna happen. But what doesn't change is that one volcano boiling in my belly that will not tolerate anyone fucking with my ass. If that happens then this meek, mild-mannered individual goes directly for the jugular.

As in an earlier post I mentioned that I was looking for a new rifle. I happened to mention it in passing today in a conversation at work. No one there even owns a gun of any type. As soon as I said it there were looks in the eyes of others akin to someone that just got a death sentence. I immediately became the silent one that was going to go over the edge and come in one day and shoot the place up.

Persona's. I have a new one. I'm gonna play this one to the max. Happy Hunting...

I'm Working Myself...

...into a mental froth. Ole Ernie is about upon us but the track has changed just a bit so it's going slightly to the east of us. AND YET, the shitheads powers-that-be have actually closed schools and businesses for tomorrow. It might be worse towards the coast so that I could see. But holy fuckamoly, we're 180 miles from there. It's going to be nothing more than a big thunderstorm that lasts a few hours. You wonder why they have to raise property taxes and the like all the time? Because these dimwitted bastards can't help but spend a few million dollars a day to try and protect our asses from some raindrops. I'd rather have a stoner running the state. Just kick back and listen to Buffett's "A White Sport Coat And A Pink Crustacean", which was, by the way, his best album EVER.

Heads Up...

...to this blogger. Funny stuff. Give it a link. I'll ask for my commission later.

I'm Not Saying...

...it's gonna happen, but this lady has a good point. It sure wouldn't hurt if we went back to a simpler time. I'm not sure that we wouldn't revert back to our innate desire to make things simpler by making things more complicated, but I'm with her. I could live in a cabin or on a farm and ride the tractor and eat my meat(not my own, mind you) and taters and lard. I've always been drawn to that lifestyle. But what happens to the blogoshere? Damned, this could get complicated. I think we need a congressional sub-committee to look into this further. Orange juice cans and strings might work. Do they even make those anymore? Better yet, I think we need an emergency meeting of Congress. Nursey is right on the money. Just don't know if the end result is what she might expect. I hope it is.

More Bad News...

...from Iraq today. They started blowing their own citizens up again at a pretty staggering level. I try to keep a perspective about it. Forming a democracy is hard, takes time, newbies. But damned, why don't the regular citizens just say a fucking nuff? In the far north where the Kurds live things are going swimmingly. They have hospitals and the like functioning. Shops and market places. It looks like a fun place to be. Those other fuckers, the sunnis and shiites can't pull their heads outta their blown up asses long enough to realize what could happen if they just quit this shit. Who the hell would want to live like that? My take? Only people that put their fate in the hands of religious mad men would tolerate this shit. Hell, have they no sense of their own dominion? Just fucking maddening. I have a nephew over there and Bane has a son. He (Bane) is beginning to suffer from the "DAMNED I HOPE IT ISN'T HIM" syndrome whenever he hears of soldiers being killed. I've been there for three years. It get's exhausting. I feel for him. There are times when I just want to say fuck-it and ask to bring them all home. But dammit, democracy is worth it. If that so-called government over there can't rein these wild ass assassins in, then we should lay down the guantlet and tell them we're outta there. Hussein butchered the Kurds because all they wanted to do was live in peace. Fanaticism? I just don't get it. I'm not gonna give in to the chickenshits chickenhawks, but damned if it doesn't get frustrating.

Chicken Little...

...has hit the airwaves here. And the sky is falling. Ernesto is expected to come directly over the apartment tomorrow. As advised by the governor I've put together my survival kit so as to avoid loss of life and limb. I have my 2000 amp generator and a tractor-trailer load of bottled water and MRE's. I went and purchased a hummer at lunch and then swung by the pharmacy and got a prescription of Xanax and some comdoms. Oh, they're for the new sex doll I picked up at the adult toy store. Can't be too safe these days. The Porta-Jon should be delivered just before dusk and on the way home from work I picked up the complete works of Shakepeare. And I have my two 50 gallon barrels of gas out back which are hooked up to the nuclear powered generator in case the other one fails.

So I should be set. Of course the trailer parked in the middle of the parking lot is pissin' some people off, but hell, 25 mile an hour winds are pretty damned scary and could blow the roof off the building. Then everyone will be seeking shelter in the trailer, but hell no. Ain't gonna happen. It's mine. I heeded the warning.

And of course they are warning of SEVERE flooding from 5 inches of rain and suggest we watch the weather on the local stations to keep abreast of where the water is rising. Hmmm, alot of territory to cover, but I will do as told and stay my ground, even if I see the lake behind the apartment getting ready to envelope my abode. If there's no reporter around to tell my ass to get the hell out or if I don't get a call from the governor them I'm standing fast. I want to stick to protocal.

Wish me luck. The sky will be falling tomorrow.

We Had A Shooting...

...on a high school campus today. Some former student came on the grounds and shot a few rounds into the building and wounded a student. Guess he was pissed because he couldn't identify the intestines in the frog they dissected or some such thing. Of course all the gun control dweebs come crawling out of the woodwork like a swarm of termites demanding that we make the purchasing of all ammunition illegal post haste.

My position on this is to line them all up and shoot them. I'm not sure how well that would go over, but at least it would shut the motherfuckers up. I have no problem with people owning guns. I have a rifle tucked away in the closet. I've always wanted to own a glock but gun laws here require you to jump through a bunch of hoops to get a license and I've never had the time to do the hoolahoop thingy. Plus I doubt I could get three references that would swear that I wasn't certifyably insane. But even if I owned one it would never enter my mind to just go out and randomly fire the sonabitch at a building or school or what not. It's the person pulling the trigger people, not the trigger pulling the person.

Of course the school administration just freaked out, even after the culprit was apprehended. Total panic and parents complaining about a lack of an exit strategy. I kid you not. Lord have mercy my last few years here on this planet are going to try my fucking nerves.

Damned Near...

...shit myself when I saw some of these.
Yikes!!! Guess this is the poster woman for the old adage that perception is 99% of reality, or some dumb fuckin thing like that. If women can change this dramatically just by throwing on 7 pounds of make-up then the next time I'm lucky enough to have one grace my celibate bed I'm gonna make her put a bag over hear head just outta principle. I don't wanna wake up looking at frankenstein.

If I Had To Write...

...full time about the state of current affairs with no bias or agenda, like the MSM does, I'd last about a week before I'd have to pull my brain out through my asshole and feed it to the dogs. (Or the neighbors, in this case, since I don't have one.) Every individual has to recognize the capriciousness of nature. Everyday when you wake up you have to come to grips that your house or apartment didn't burn down. When you get out of the shower you have to be grateful that your ass didn't slip and split your head wide open and spew your grey matter down the sewer. When you have your coffee and smoke, if you do so, you have to wonder if that artery in your brain, heart or stomach(an AA for those not medically up-to-speed) is getting ready to pop its load. When you walk out the door your ass has to wonder if that sonabitch that stayed up till 4 AM drinking and has to be to work at seven has enough mental acumen not to T-Bone your ass at the intersection and split you into three or four sections. And when you get to work ya gotta wonder if some crazed bastard is gonna walk in and open fire on everyone in there. Or if you're in the ocean and some shark that has the munchies decides your leg is his next chicken nugget meal. Or on the way home is that guy heading home that didn't have the sleep he needed and missed T-Boning you gonna do it this time. Or if you go to the ER is the young doc qualified not to mix the meds up that throws your ass into a coma forever.

Point is, shit happens. Quit fucking blaming people for things for which they aren't cuculpable. Especially the gov't. I wanna keep what little bit of my brain is left. And my butt's so puckered up that I'm affraid I wouldn't finish the job and then I'd have a real mess on my hands. Damned gov't and their bowel program.

Last Word...

...on Katrina. This chocolate dimwit said that in the final analysis the government was to blame for the devestation. Hmmm, didn't know the government was in the hurricane business. But, my question has always been what happened to all these individual's sense of self-preservation? Did they just miss out on that instinct? Nobody taught it to them? Or, most likely, the've been living off said gov't for so long that they figured that took its place. I mean if you're in the line of a Cat4 hurricane with the possibility that the below sea-level city your ass occupies might also get flooded by a breached levy, doesn't some sort of signal go off in your head that tells you that you better get the fuck outta harms way however possible? I'm just asking...

I Generally Don't...

...criticize law enforcement officers. I figure they are out there putting their lives in danger and trying to keep my skinny ass safe should I dummy up and try to confront a big ole fat women in the market as she gazes longingly at a 45 pound rib roast. However, today I was just stupified. In the building I work in is a satellite college that holds classes for said law enforcement types. They really are enthralled with themselves. I ran into two in the men's piss room today, and I swear to the god of linguistics that this stupid motherfucker couldn't put two words together that would even come close to comprising a coherent sentence. More troubling than that was the fact that his cohort seemed to understand him. It scared my willy so much so that he immediately took shelter in my duodenum. I had to make a concerted effort not to laugh because I feared some bad mojo might come back to haunt me. I'd hoped it was an isolated incident, until I found this today...

Four New York City police were called to an apartment house in July in the Bronx concerning a landlord-tenant dispute, but were distracted by a teenager in the hallway smoking marijuana and started to chase him, when a pit bull attacked the officers. The toll, 26 bullets later: one dead dog, one bitten officer, three other officers wounded by each other's gunshots. [New York Post, 7-24-06]

Sigh...and we allow these people to carry guns. I think that tsunami a few years back really did throw the planet off it's axis and we're spinning into a black hole of galactically stupid.

What The...

...bloody hell is happening?? Now the ball-less pussies at NBC have issued an apology for the Sunday night parody Conan O'Brien did for the Emmy's. I didn't see it but have seen the montage. It's a parody of Lost and a plane crash. People are outraged that they aired it several hours after the plane wreck in Kentucky. Jesus fucking Chist people. Do we have to apologize for EVERY SINGLE THING WE DO???...

Wife: Honey, you up?
Hubby: Yep, sorry.

Boss: Well, you're an hour early!
You: Yeah, sorry.

Wife: Wow!!! I've never come like that before!!
Hubby: Really? Sorry.

Guy pulled out of buring car: Damn man, you saved my life.
You: So Sorry.

You get my drift here? You can't do a damned thing without the nagging feeling that somebody's gonna be pissed about it. Some entity is stawking us and cutting off our balls before we can protest. Fuck that!!

Rifle Help...

...from the experts. I have an old single-shot 22 winchester. Hell, I can't even remember how old it is. I bought it as a kid. I want a new one. Do they make multi-shot ones now? Any recommendations?

This Rabbi Wrote ...

...two books back in the 80's. I read them when my marriage was in the tank and dissipating into the toxic wasteland that has lasted to this day. I have never read another book that deals with how to help yourself or pick yourself up by the fucking bootstraps and move on.

The first one was entitled "Bad Things Happen To Good People". WTF!! A book was needed for that? Hell, it happens when we're first born and come out of the fish mitten. It's all a matter of chance after that.

The second was entitled "When All You've Ever Wanted Isn't Enough". Well, I'm sorry rabbi, but if I had Christy Brinkley and she wasn't enough and I had to go get some young piece of tail, then I deserve to be sent off to some remote island that has a weird strain of vermin that eats my dick out from the inside.

I like the rabbi, and actually met him once. Nothing against him. He's a nice man. Just write porn or something.

And I had an 11 hour day, which pisses my ass off, especially when I don't know I'm gonna have one. And a whiny ass bitch at work that complains because she has to do her job. Bad things happen to good people, and when all you've ever wanted was to shoot.

And an update. We're going to have to go through this whole pile of bullshit with Katrina and 9/11 and watch the networks piss it down our eyeballs. All the memories and such. Just give it up. It's over, it's done. Shit happens (sorry rabbi). It's a new day. Get on with it. And Christmas is coming. There are trees to sell and snow men to decorate. And don't give me any shit about being insensitive. You couldn't even go there.

I Know We Have...

...control over what we watch and what we let infultrate our heads. But please, burn my eyeballs out with hot poker. Everything, it seems, is an imminent crisis with the MSM. They are raping and pillaging my brain cells. I can do that by myself. Don't need any help. The recent two examples are Ernesto and this Karr jasper that said he killed the little Ramsey girl. Seems like half of Florida is evacuating already over this little windblower. I'm trying to remember when this trend started happening, and I don't know if it was after 9/11 or if we've just pussified ourselves to the point that anything that might disrupt our day-to-day is just something that can't be dealt with so they scare the shit out of us yelling the sky is falling and we don't make rational judgements about it.

And the faggy looking titmouse didn't have his DNA match that of the little girl. So this whole hoopla is OVER. In about a week. And look at the time they spent on this drivelshit.

Hey, but 24 won two Emmy's!! Not that I give a rats ass. I like the program, but I'll be damned if I'll watch a stable full of self-serving, botoxed-to-death,
brainless rummy's sit around in dresses and such that are worth more than my truck do the self-congratulatory,
damned-ain't-my-ass-fine bullshit. I was working, so I have an excuse.

I'm Not Sure...

...why people do some of the stupid shit they do, but I'll add this to the list. It never once entered my demonized mind to see who else uses firefox. I guess I'm loosing it, huh? Or, maybe I never had it to begin with. Damn, that's a depressing notion.

The Following...

...link
involves my nephews platoon. Damn they do good work...

By Some Standards...

...I'm old, by others, not so much. In my mind I'm about 25. In real time, I'm 53. Quite a disparity. But that's not the point. I wonder about how TV play's such a large part in our lives and those of our kids. I can't even remember when we got our first TV when I was a kid. It was an exciting day, I do remember. Other's had already obtained them, and it was a status symbol in the neighborhood. And nobody asked you over to watch. It was a coveted and almost secretive possesion. I have one, you don't. Once my parents finally got one I was excited. But to this day I remember only two things. Kennedy's assasination and a Perry Como Christmas special.

I can't imagine what kids would do today without the tube. They've grown up with it. And puter's. When I was a youngin' we mixed saltpeter with some other shit and blew them up. We rode bikes to school and elsewhere. Sandlot baseball. We fell in love with our fifth grade teacher. And she was HOT. Ms. Masillo. She actually came out to watch me play a game one day. Hit two homers. The big stick. AHHHH, even then the one-eyed trouser snake was looming.

My point? Don't have one. Never do. Oh well...

Well Damn...

...my ass has been spanked. How unusual. It's a first for me...

Six Degrees...

...of sepearation. It's a fascinating concept. I wonder about alot of things. I wonder, at this moment, what my sons are doing and what our lives would have been like if the X hadn't dummied up. I wonder if my Dad is in a place better than here. I wonder if the people I care about ever think about me. I wonder why this lovely lady can't find peace in her life, and why she seems so sad.

I have no idea if there are six degrees, five or four. It may seem at times that I'm banal and profane. It's just a cover. We all have them. I'd like to meet alot of the people that I read. It would be fun to have a cold one with the brethren. It may very well be true that I know some of you through circumstances that neither of us know about. It works for me.

Some Responses...

...to other bloggers. Guy
has a post about Israel and nukes and such. Some of his commenters are worried about Russia and China. They don't have a dog in this fight. It's a religious matter. Russia and China are pretty much agnostic by nature. It would serve no purpose for them to blow us up. Our economies are too intertwined. We're Christian by nature, but allow the practicing of all faiths. The fuckers that want us dead are fanatics, in the religious sense. They aren't interested in economies because they have none. They are a rogue nation, so to speak. There is no country to defend. They have a notion in their heads; annihilation of the infidels, which is usn's. When you think about it, it's pretty damned stupid. They want 72 virgins and us dead. We only wish we could have one. Helen Caldicott wrote a great book years ago about 'missile Envy'. Go get a copy.

This particular gentleman has a post entitled "I Don't Know Why" whereby he says he doesn't 'get' me, and how I have the balls to have my picture on the blog. Hmmmm, LL has hers, as does Guy, as do alot of people. And I don't write many things that are so out of left field that the authorities are coming after my ass. I happen to think that if you DON'T have a pic on your blog you're a chickenshit. But that's IMHO. If I didn't know better, I'd say he was obtuse. But I've read his stuff. I don't 'get' it, but I don't have to. But I did contribute to his new computer. Nuff said.

I Just Noticed...

...that Bane and I start our posts the same way. Let me state that it's not a copycat kinda thing. I've been doing all my correspondence that way for years. We have a tech support forum at my place of employment where I've responded to thousands of questions and they all have the ... in them. What bothers me is that I might have the same kinda boogers in my head as Bane does. Holy Shit!!! So I've included a picture of one of Bane's favorite women. She's a hotty and started her career on the IMUS show. Geesh, god, please don't morph me into Banedom. That would not be cool.

Danger Will Robinson...

...danger. I've been drinking thinking. We have all these levels of danger, or security warnings out there now for the really important things. We don't have them for grocery stores and the like. There's no warning that they're out of bread. No warnings that WallyWorld is out of towels. Or RX is out of vicodin. Why is that? Just as important to my ass.

Sorry, it's early and I'm really drunk tired. But what would happen if the three things that affect us the most all converged at the same level at some point in time. The three things that affect us the most are weather, homeland security and the defense of our country. The weather doesn't really have a scale, but they flash things across your TV, so we'll call that the "red" zone. Homeland Security has it's scale, and red is the highest level, so we have a thing going here. Then there's DefCon, and the highest level there is 5. Seems red to my ass.

So, what would happen if you were at work, or wherever, and they all converged at red. An imminent nuclear tornado with snakes on a plane? And no sky marshall. I'm gonna go have another drink and crawl under the covers. Was gonna go to Wal-Mart, but there's a bad moon rising. Which seems to have significant global ramifications. My ass ain't gonna go into the red zone.

If'n Only...

...the truth be told.

Hi, I'm Lindsay Wagner. I don't mean to get too personal, but when's the last time you had a really good fuck on your old mattress? Old mattresses may be too hard or too soft, kinda like your husbands dick. With the Sleep Comfort bed, you never have to worry about that. You can set it to whatever comfort level is good for you. If you need a 45, it's there baby. For those times you need an 85, just grab the remote and pump that baby up. And your man will have more stamina in the morning for those times when a good woody is needed when the sun rises. So don't pass this opportunity up. It's a simple call. I'll send you a free brochure that includes new sexual positions you can try. Call now. You won't regret it. My sleep partner can verify that everything I've said is true. Thank god for the remote and the 120 setting. OHHHHHHHH, I so love this bed.

Just Where Did This...

...Zorro looking motherfuker come from? It befuckles me. Seriously. I went through the 60's, 70's, 80's, 90's and now the 20's and I had never heard of this black garbed and spectacled master of the big ukulele. I knew of Clapton, Page and Beck. But this nuts-full-of-machismo suddenly came into my world a few years ago. And he cares about ME, and wants me to be happy through music. And damned if he can't throw a riff or two down the neck. He says he was hit by a drunk driver ten years ago and couldn't play. He's made a remarkable recovery. Cause this dude can throw it down. And he wants MY ass to throw down with him. Well hell fucking yes. My ass is in!! I loved Zorro as a kid. All that swashbuckling and concern for the minions. Life just got a WHOLE lot better. Childhood dreams do come true. Thank you Allah, thank you. I'm off to grow my fingernails. And take a Midol, cause black makes me look fat.

Out Of The Blue...

...or red, or whatever. I've always hated that phrase. But I got a phone call tonight from an old college friend. He's a stud, and an intellectual dynamo. He looks just like the guy in the pic. I want to be a homo. Unfortunately, that ain't gonna happen. But damned if it wasn't nice to have an hour long, intellectual conversation. Shit, I gotta get a life. Love ya Ed. You are salt. Fr. Gregory told me so.

Unless You've Had...

...your head in the sand, or up your butt, which equates to wiping your ass with sandpaper, you've probably heard about the Duke rape case. I'm not going into the details, because you can read about them anywhere. My take, and only take, is this. The NY Times came out with a story today about how they thought the DA had a good case. Since I happen to live in the city where this is taking place I can tell you he does NOT. He's just another someone that suddenly had his 15 minutes of fame and once had, he steadfastly refuses to let it go. Look at his pic. He is fecal matter that should be wiped into the sewers of hell.

I knew a woman that was raped. She recovered from it and was able to lead a normal, healthy sexual life. I was a happy recipient of that recovery. I have no idea what's in the mind of a rapist. They say it's power, degradation or fear. But I can tell you one thing based on experience. My son was an athlete. A good one. And so were the friends and teammates he had. They liked to party. I partied with them, although I hated doing so because I had to travel to TN to do it. But we would get drunk, as would the strippers that they hired to attend the party at the frat house. But never once would any of those kids have considered raping a women. Quite the contrary, they would have ripped off the head off anyone that attempted it and shit down their neck.

Just a few weeks ago said son went back to his old homestead to attend a wedding. They rented a bus for the bachelor party and again the obligatory stripper was present. Again, nothing but drunken fun and titty-meat. At the end of the night all went home to wallow in their inebriation.

I think the same is true in the Duke case, with one difference. The stripper they had was not only a drunk and drug addict, but a con. She saw an opportunity to ruin the reputations of several young men. But her story will never hold up in court.

There may be some instances of high-profiled athletes that take advantage of a female. But they are few and far between. Athletes usually don't have trouble getting women. I doubt these individual did either.

Tomorrow I get stupid. Ron said he won't read anymore if I don't. I hate dummying up, but what's a man to do.

Stunning...

...news. I heard today that Pluto is no longer a planet. Fuck my intellect. I always thought it was a Disney dog. What I find even more disturbing about this change of events is that there's a body of people that actually give a shit, and have the power to change its status. Now it's a 'dwarf planet'. Wonder how midgets will feel about this classification. There's a lawsuit in here somewhere.

But what happens if Pluto doesn't want to be a 'dwarf planet'? Can it sue? Whine? What if it decides to throw the whole planetary spinning thingy outta whack? What then? This is what happens when you get these intellectual types together to meet and engage in intellectual jacking off. They claim the reason was because Pluto was intruding into Neptune's space. A cosmic jihad, of sorts. Is there no planetary UN to handle this? Must we take care of EVERYTHING? It's an outrage, I claim. Stop the madness!! So we've got an insurgent planet out there, spinning around looking for someone to blame for its plight. Small, ignored planet that no one paid much attention to. I'm getting alittle uncomfortable with this. Can this body of scientific dipshits hold a special meeting to reconsider this? It's all so confusing. And no reaction yet from the White House. Perhaps declaring Earth as a double-dwarf planet will appease Pluto. But I'm sure he's so royally pissed by now that there's no turning back. The fate of the other eight planets rests in the hands of some newly declared rogue planet with evil intentions. I'm diving for cover. I suggest you do the same. Things are getting cosmic...Prayers to all for a good survival.

Soooo, It's The Anniversary...

...of Katrina. How'd that work out for ya? In some ways I feel sorry for the residents. But the constant bitching and moaning about how the government is taking too long to rebuild New Orleans befuddles my ass. Did these folks not have insurance? And if not, why is it the governments job to rebuild your house? But here's my rub about the whole thing, and it applies not just to New Orleans, but all places that are prone to these types of situations. At some point in time you bought a house on or near a place of water that might damned well come and turn that place into toothpicks. But you decided to do it anyways. And when it happens you seem surprised. How could something like this happen? If you aren't aware of the ramifications of your decision, then why is it the job of the government to rectify it? Or anyones, for that matter.

On a side note, to throw light on the situation, I used to work on a golf course. For 25 years. We had a rather large creek that ran through the two courses we had. It would flood, sometimes badly. But as the years went by it would flood excessively and no one seemed to be able to figure it out. At times it flooded surrounding homes and the owners demanded immediate retribution for their damages and a quick fix. So the BOD spent thousands upon thousands rip-rapping the bank, dredging, reshaping, etc. And the floods kept happening. OH, there were some highly pissed off people. I was in charge of all the physical stuff out on the course. Things like pump stations, electricity, irrigation and the like. And the floods would fuck my stuff up hugely. But we dealt. Hell, it's only money. Raise the dues. So one day at a meeting I brought up the point that the floods aren't the result of bad maintenance practices, as were being claimed. It's because of all the asphalt and concrete they've installed upstream at the mouth of the creek. What used to fall harmlessly into the ground now was going into culverts and storm drains. And right into the creek. DUH!!

They had never once considered that. NEVER. And there wasn't a damn thing they could do about it except to re-route the creek, which the city wasn't going to do. I left shortly after the last flood, after a tropical storm came through and dropped 12 inches of rain. It flooded the lower level of the clubhouse and did about $250,000 worth of damage. And the clubhouse was a 1/4 of a mile from the creek. I even had to climb into an elevator shaft to pump out 8' of water, with live electricy in it. Decisions, decisions. Make them wisely, kiddies.

This Is...

...a pretty good take on that longstanding verbal spewing known as BULLSHIT. Have a read...

A Post For...

...the guys. The wimmin's can look if they want, but ya might get jealous. And I think every man in the world should own this shirt.

This Is The Kinda...

...shit that drives my ass crazy, because both sides are involved. It appears there is some group in Chicago
that got a law passed that prohibits the serving of foie gras. Now, if you don't know what that is, it's the liver of a geese or a duck, but it's fattened up a bit (kinda like your ass). The peeps that got this law enacted said the means by which they fattened up these livers was inhumane.

I have no sympathy for either side of this issue. On the one hand, what the fuck are you doing worrying about a liver. If you need to worry about one, worry about mine. It's as fat as LL's butt. And if you eat a liver you're just as fucked up. Some of the people on this planet just defy a rational explanation for the things they do. Stupid, just galactically so.

So, It Appears Our...

...prez likes to hear shitwind jokes. Which leads me to infer that he also likes to release the proctological effervescence. Is that surprising to most of you? All us men folk like to do it. Hell, I can play a symphony by Rockmoninoff. With a special wind section. As long as he doesn't do it while he's in the middle of a good tit fuck with the wife, then I'm all for it. We men-folk have to release our internal gasses, most of which come from our brain cells fermenting from lack of thinking. I'm just saying...as long as it ain't a shart, go good buddy.

Look You...

...chimpmunk, cheek nut packing, vascillating vermon. Our asses are on the line here, and all you have in mind is your own self-serving desire to run this country. As if you would have done it differently. You didn't win when you ran last time because you are as transparent as the vitriol your anal ass spews as you abondon your party. You just suck nuts, male ones at that.

OK, I'm Getting Some...

...hits from spanglish and muslim sites, which I expected. Most likely from my supposedly derisive comments. Well and fucking good. Bring it on gringo and diaperhead. But I will state my bloody ass opinion and then you can reply if you want to.

In general, I have nothing against ANYONE. But if you start to use this country as a haven because your own country can't provide for you, then your ass has to go home. Your country has a responsibility to you. We don't. You can't rely on us to support you through all the services we offer. If you want to live here, fine by my ass. More tacos to you. But do it LEGALLY. Don't be fuckin with the monies I pay to my government to protect me. I've earned it. You haven't.

And diaperhead, I haven't heard one word out of any of your masses that live in MY country that you deplore the actions of your brethen. This affects you just as much as it does me. And every service that MY government provides me, I have earned. I am a citizen. Most likely, you are not. So when you turn to Mecca, make sure you thank whomever it is you pray to that our insurgents aren't trying to blow your nappy ass into a bloody heap on the side of the road or splatter you onto your blanky that you kneel on. If you want to live here as a citizen, then stand up and condemn what your fucktard brethren do. Otherwise, you are no better off than they are. You are complicit and a severe and present danger.

I will help you both if you need assistance on the side of the road. I will give you money if you are short at the market. I will tutor your children if they need it. I will pray with you if needed for comfort. I will do what we as AMERICANS do. But if you are going to use the USA for your own benefit, then I have no use for you. We have enough of our own to tolerate in that regard. And if you are going to plan our demise while in OUR country, then we will find you and then we will shoot straight. It may seem to you that we have lost our resolve and courage, but I assure you, that is not the case.

So take heed. You are welcome here if you play be the rules. Otherwise, go home to YOUR governments, that could give a rats ass about you. To conditions where you will most likely starve or be slaughtered. We are still in our infancy as a democracy. It isn't perfect. But it's a helluva lot better than what you have. So don't come here trying to fuck things up.

A Query...

...for template builders and others. Anybody have a calendar that will show links to your archives when you click on a date? WordPress has one but it doesn't work in blogger. I've tried creating one but I suck at HTML, amongst other things. Any links, etc, most appreciated. A bientot!! I know, Viens m'enculer.

Clase, Clase...

...CLASE!! Es hora para nuestra lección inglesa. So shut the fuck up and pay attencion, por favor.




Whatcha expect from someone that clepped outta spanish 2 in college? Dios Mio!! Fuckity, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck.

Why The Hell...

...does this even need to be debated? Congress is opening discussions to determine if english should be declared the official language. As opposed to what? This is the kinda shit that makes my butthole pucker up. In the great influx of immigrants back at the turn of the 20th century do think Congress would have ever considered this? Of course not. Then why the fuck does this issue even need to be raised? Splanglish my ass. Ship them all over to Iraq and Iran.

I Swear To...

...fucking bejesus, network executives are just as dimwittingly stupid as the politicians. I've never seen the program Survivor, but it appears this year they are going to pit races against one another. That's correctamundo. White against black, against hispanic, againt asian, and so on. Four tribes. BUT, where's the Native American tribe? This is discriminatory, I say!! But, oh wait. The whole idea is batshittingly, crazily racist. If I had my gun I'd shoot myself in the foot. The program can't be good enough to warrant anything more serious.

The Dimocrats...

... and other liberal shitheads would have you believe that the deaths and maimings in Iraq are just awful. 2610 deaths and over 20,000 casualties. While tragic indeed, there were over 46,000 deaths on our highways in 2005. Why do they never say anything about this? Because it serves them no purpose to do so. There's nothing political attached to it. I just wish they would pull their heads outta their asses and recognize things as they are.

Oh, and what's the pic have to do with this post? Nothing. Absolutely nothing other than the fact that I've had the hots for this woman for ages. So shut the fuck up and deal with it. I'm feeling totally inadequate today on so many levels.

If You Have Not...

...heard or read about this
debacle then you should go enlighten yourself and then get really, really pissed off. Better yet, go piss down the judges robe.

I Don't Ask For Much...

...but if you have insurance with this company, please cancel it. Go use Nationwide, or Allstate. These people fucked my 76 year old Mom. And I'm tired of seeing this little lizards ass. Help me out here...

Someone E-Mailed Me...

...and wanted to know why I don't write more about myself or put more stuff in my profile. Now, why would I want to drag my hemorrhoid laden ass into your world? You come here to either read shit, you're bored, or you don't have a life and you want to live vicariously through me. THAT would be a big mistake. The people in the links are worth reading. I'm just here to try and make you miserable if I can. I have cancer, my skin is falling off, and if you were to get close to me your life would spin completely out of control, and your first born would be sucked into a Hawking black hole, never to come back. I subsist on about 100 calories a day, 3/4 of which are grapes, in the form of wine. I look like a tomato stake with a t-shirt and a pair of overalls pinned on it. I now cut my own hair because the Korean lady I went to a few years ago at Great Clips couldn't understand the language I speak in my own country and decided I need a butch cut. I did so tonight, and it's equally as good as the job her ass did. I clean my own teeth because the dental bitch cares more about taking afternoons off than learning how to pull a tooth and led me into a three day hell of oral surgery and infection. I take my truck in for service to the dealer because it isn't paid for yet, but will be in February. It'll be the last vehicle I own. It used to be I could do it all myself, but I had access to lifts and such. Trying to do it in the dungeon would be messy. I don't watch porn and never have. If I can't touch 'em, I don't wanna look at them. I have a temper that belies the Big Bang, but very few have ever seen it. That's my demon. I'm stellar at controlling it. I'm as loyal as that adjective can be conjugated (is this a double-entendre)? You fuck with my family, the gun laws go out the window. I don't drink liquor except on occasion, used to drink beer. Now it's wine, because it has cancer fighting elements in it. I still send money to my sons, even though the divorce decree said I didn't have to five years ago. I went to college at a Benedictine monastery in Indiana and had sex with a nun. She's no longer a nun, and I never became a monk. It had nothing to do with the sex. It was the pudding. I wake up every morning at 2:30 with cramps in my legs and toes that have me writhing in pain. If I walk out of the apartment I go into anxiety mode. Unlike you have ever seen. Which is why you'll see my ass at Wal-Mart 5:30 in the morning and the market at 7. My heart goes haywire.

That's about all I'm gonna give up. You have to figure out what's true or not. Should be a fun game.

So...

...this little peter principle suffering, hezbolasshole loving fucktard decided to flip off the west again and build his nukes. Most of the dipshit pundits are saying we have no choice at the moment but to accept it because our forces are so depleted and our others are working next door to this surly neighbor in Iraq. They claim if we or Israel were to attack them the outcry from other Muslim nations would be outrageous. They say we couldn't win a ground war because of this depletion and the fallout of the outcry.

Some thoughts on this. The Marines are calling up some IRR's, and there is some outrage about this. Hey, I understand, but you signed the contract and you knew what was involved. Hell, my nephew went ahead and volunteered even as the war in Afghanistan was winding up. How about we go corral all of the illegal immigrants that are here and tell them they have guarenteed citizinship when their four year duty in the services is finished.

Why won't anyone take the necessary, hard steps to bring this thing to an end? Truman did. Hey, fuck-it he said. We want a stop to this and we can do it. I suspect two or three 1000 megaton nukes dropped on or near Tehran would wake some assholes up over there. But don't stop there. Tell that little cunt breath over in N. Korea that he's next, after he sees the devastation. And then go ahead and plant a few over in taliban land. That should open some eyes.

Ya know why Truman was able to do it? Because he sold shoes or some type of thing. He wasn't going to standby and watch all the shit he had to go through get shitcanned because some pantie wearing liberal somewhere, who's only concern was who was going to hate them, stop him from doing what he knew was the right thing to do. And if it all gets blown to hell on all sides, well then good. It's obvious we're never going to be able to co-exist with these asshats. Be it religion, politics or whatever, we are on opposite ends of the spectrum. We want peace and democracy, they don't. They want to kill our women and children, we don't want the same for theirs.

So stop this baffoonery. We start dying the day we start living. If we can't get this right then at least let the survivors try and do it.

If You Want To...

...read someone really funny, go check out this gentleman. It's a funny read, trust me.

Kind Of...

...funny.

A cardiologist died and was given an elaborate funeral. A huge heart
covered in flowers stood behind the casket during the service.


Following the eulogy, the heart opened, and the casket rolled inside.


The heart then closed, sealing the doctor in the beautiful heart
forever.


At that point, one of the mourners burst into laughter. When all eyes
stared at him he said "I'm sorry, I was just thinking of my own
funeral...
I'm a gynaecologist!"


Thats when the proctologist fainted!

Now I Ask You...

...how is a redblooded, all-american male under the age of 35 not going to click on an image like this? All that testosterone raging around in their firm, manly nut sacks and other such places. They have juices to spill and loins to satisfy. Me, on the other hand, might as well be looking at a picture of vanilla pudding, which is what my dick pretty much functions like. A weak, wobbly, sorry excuse for an appendage that used to grace the cover of the likes of Sports Illustrated and Popular Mechanics. Oh the humanity!!

Yep, This Pretty Much...

...sums it up.

You're A Passed Out Drunk

Drinking gives you that warm fuzzy feeling, until you're thrown in the back of a police car...

What Kind of Drunk Are You?

Today Is August 22...

...the day the Muslims claim Muhammad rode up into the netherlands on some goofy ass creature. Accordingly, they, the Muslims, plan to throw down on all us infidels and do some serious ass whooping. Now, as I'm writing this it's almost 7 PM over there. Seems like something would have happened by now, but them motherfuckers can be a sneaky lot. There could be some of them hiding in the trees as I speak. But one thing does bring ponderance to my mind. Didn't that fucker do his thing like several thousand years ago. How in the hell do they know it was on August 22? What if all this talk of this particular day is nothing but a ruse, and they really plan on doing it the next day or the next? Oh grasshopper, these are scary days.

I Like This...

guy. He's funny. I have never been in a Starbuck's in my life, nor do I ever plan on doing so. If a place I tender my monies doesn't have or serve alcohol my ass ain't going in. Which is why I go to church on Sunday's if I run out on Saturday night. They have communion, and wine. And I put a dollar in the bucket.

Maybe I'm Misssing...

...something here. Number one, unless she's about 40 feet tall, how do they figure those talons are 25 feet? Is that collectively? Number two, why would anyone do this shit. What does she do when she has to wipe her ass? And what if she wants to, you know, manipulate herself? Aren't those kinda dangerous in those areas?

I Found The Perfect...

...sympathy card for the dead guy that wasn't always playing nice...

Don't Ever Say I...

...never tried to enlighten you dimwitted bastards. Here's Cliff's explanation of the Buffalo theory...

"Well you see, Norm, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo and when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Now, as we know, excessive drinking of alcohol kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. And that, Norm, is why you always feel smarter after a few beers."


And blogger is the shits today.(Yeah, what else is new)

I Will Love...

...the mother of my children till I go to my grave. I'm not sure she ever loved me. But after twenty years it's a moot point. But she did two things that to this day I laugh about when I think of them.

First off, she did this thing with her head when she was getting dressed. She'd move her head left and right while looking in the mirror. As if the angle would make a difference. And on more than one occasion she would change what she had on based on what side her head was tilted to. I never could figure it out. Never commented on it. Knew I'd never understand it. Just the way it was. Women folk, don't ya know.

Secondly, she would get guppy-lipped when she got drunk. You've seen guppies in the tank, and how they eat? Their lips kinda puff out. She was that way. It was funny as could be. When she'd try to talk she looked just like that.

Plus, her...well, never mind.

Go Get A...

...job. NO, WAIT. Relax. Go fishing or something. Tend to your wife and grandkids. Drink a bit. Sleep till noon. Go get a pole dance. Go to the market and show off your cucumber. You're eighty something years old. Get off my TV, dammit.

Please Just...

...shut the fuck up. It's a shame your ass wasn't swept away in the water. People like this make me question my belief in a benevolent god. I'm losing my patience with the almighty. Don't make me take over the planet. It won't be pretty.

Hats off to GuyK...yo mate!!!