It Seems I Have A Load...

...of fecal matter in my colon that shouldn't be there. For those of you not familiar with feces, it means I'm full of shit.

Apparently there are some people out there selling their wares and they claim it will clean said shit out of said colon in a week or two and I'll be walking around with 12 pounds less of built up shit in my gut. They want something like two payments of $1 million dollars to accomplish this feat. I've always found that drinking a box of Franzia Merlot on a Saturday pretty much does the same thing, and it only costs me sixteen dollars. I reckon I'll stick with my plan until my liver shits the bed. Then my colon won't care, nor will I.