I'd Like To Buy...

a vowel. As a matter of fact, I'd like to buy three. While were at it, have Vanna take her top off.

Friday Night vowel bullets...

• I've never seen the point in meetings. I've been through enough in my time. Nothing much ever seemed to get accomplished other than people relishing in the fact that they got to talk alot. Spewing forth their rhetoric about this and that. Then another chimes in and it changes the scenario. Lots of heads shake in agreement. Then another. And on and on. When it all ends, it always means more useless and repetitive work for the underlings. Let's undo what we just spent five months doing. I don't do the meeting thing any longer, but I am on the ass end of it. I'll buy an "O".
  
  
• Part of my job is tech support, so I talk to people. I'm good at it. You have to rub them a bit so they feel like you are doing everything you can to alleviate their issue. I was on the other end of such an issue last night with Verizon Wireless. I haven't received my bill in two months for my cell phone since I sent the other one through the washer. I had the pleasure of talking to some chump named Chad, or some other yuppie sounding name, that was determined he was going to beat me down with his stellar voice and convince me my lack of receiving my bill was somehow my fault.
  
  Undeterred by my tirade, and a few interjected expletives, he was steadfast in his resolve that I was to blame for this scenario. When I asked to talked to his superior, he blew my ass off and said he didn't have time to go find her. Soo, with a good "fuck you", I told him to tell his supervisor call me at her convenience. Now, this is no shit, but thirty seconds later this asshole calls back and asks me if I still want to talk to his supervisor. Reluctantly, yet resolutely, I said OK. Then the shit hit the proverbial fan. It took about one minute of my railing about her young employee and how the customer is always right that she got my point.
  
  Guess what was in the mail tonight when I got home? The bill. How they did that I'll never know, but I'll buy a "U".
  
  
• I can smell bullshit a mile away. The way a person projects themselves. How they look at you. Their mannerisms. Their contradictions. The way they walk around and act as if they have everything under control. How they have vowed to fix problems that never needed fixing. You can see it in their eyes. They just hope there's no one around that can peg them. Guess what? I'll buy an "E".