Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Since No One Wanted To Play...

...in my sandbox I'll clean out the kitty litter my own damned self.

76-100 - Final Installment.

76) I've smoked for upwards of 40 years. I've never bummed a smoke. It infuriates me when people ask me for one. Even more so when they ask for three in the course of a day.

77) I used to have friends. Not many, but I don't need a lot of them. I now have none. I'd like one, just to say I had one.

78) I cut my own hair.

79) I spend upwards of $500 a month on herbal supplements for cancer. That's a lot of pussy I could by. Or a friend.

80) I have a high pain threshold. I cut myself all the time and don't realize it until I find blood all over the place.

81) I once won an arm wrestling contest at a little bar in Indiana, called "Mom'S". The participants were all farmers from the area that I helped. They didn't like the skinny kid winning.

82) Said same bar had 72 kinds of beer, most of which you would have never heard of. I drank one of each somewhere along the line during the course of three years. I collected them and brought them back to a friend whose son collected them.

83) Said friend screwed me royally a few years later. So much for friends.

84) Fool me once, your fault. Fool me twice, my fault. It applies to me.

85) I love to play the devil's advocate.

86) I would have had six kids if the ex hadn't decided her vagina had had enough.

87) Who am I kidding. She said two was enough. She tired of my ass.

88) And my dick.

89) The ex's Mother was a flaming alcoholic. She did all she could to derail the marriage. She succeeded.

90) The ex's sister was a flaming alcoholic. She did all she could to derail the marriage. She succeeded.

91) The MIL died, and I loved her. The SIL has gotten sober, and I love her. The ex is out there somewhere and I love her. I'm not a grudge kind of guy. It's family.

92) You will never know me fully unless you come clean as well.

93) I like soft chocolate ice cream cones.

94) I have six pair of underwear. Makes for an interesting week.

95) I was once banded a rebel in the Catholic church. Touchee.

96) When I was in the 2nd grade a nun beat my hand for fifteen seconds because I didn't color in the lines. I nailed her ass with a snowball after school. Black eye and all. Jesus loves those that love themselves.

97) When I was young the folks said I couldn't fraternize with the kids across the street because the were "country". Best friends I ever had. And a sexy Mom.

98) Before there were "MILF'S" I had a sexual fixation on Eddie's Mom. So hot. I kinda think she felt the same.

99) Rae almost killed me as we were driving back from something or other. She was my best friends Mom and I had my hand on her tit. Whatever.

100) It is what it is.



Blogger Hammer said...

I like these, this is about the best 100 I've read so far.

I think you're a good guy who just speaks his mind.

Nothing wrong with that, I could take a lesson.

12:59 AM  
Blogger GalacticallyStupid said...

Thanks Hammer...

12:55 PM  
Anonymous Ed said...

I disagree with #77. Wonder where this came from?

4:15 PM  

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