Monday, February 12, 2007

100 Things About Me...


51) I was electrocuted once. I survived. Don't try and turn off swimming pool pumps when a leak is spraying water all over the cutoff switches.

52)My parents took me to a psychologist when I was in fourth grade. I faked fainting in class because I hated the teacher. She was a woman.

53) I had a woman grab my cock through my pants while sitting in a bar across from her husband. I REALLY liked her.

54) Dogs and cats really seem to like me. I can do without them.

55) I've never eaten liver, nor will I.

56) When I was sports editor of the high school paper I did a piece on the coach starting two sophomores instead of two seniors who were equally as talented. The teacher wouldn't print it. I quit the class that day and became a hippie.

57) I went thirty-five years without getting a traffic ticket. Some chump pulled me over for going left-of-center for eight feet to get around a car and make the left turn light. I no longer give to any police funds. And I curse at them vehemently when they call.

58) I've worn the same pair of boots everyday since 9/11.

59) I wanted to bed my sister-in-law. She wanted to do the same. We never did.

60) I never, ever missed one child support payment, and gave extra if I had it.

61) Two weeks after the ex asked for a divorce she took the boys to the mountains and I packed my belongings in three garbage bags and walked out the front door. I passed out three steps later. I woke up in ten minutes and went on my way.

62) I had no business being in graduate school. And I knew it.

63) I give great gifts.

64) Self-absorbed people bug the shit out of me.

65) I wake up with bruises on my arms. I sleep alone. What's up with that?

66) I was so good at Flight Simulator that when I took my first flying lesson the instructor let me take off and land on my own. He white-knuckled, I didn't. There was that one steep dive, but I recovered.

67) I used to be extremely efficient. I'm now a procrastinator.

68) I have no racial bone in my body.

69) I once made out with and freely groped a woman, in the kitchen, at my folks Christmas party for fellow workers. Her husband walked in and called her a whore. He went back to drinking. We went back to groping. I was twenty three, she was forty-something. What a rack. And proud of them.

70) I've read everything C. S. Lewis has ever written.

71) I've NEVER once told either of my sons how to live their lives. It's theirs, not mine.

72) I would like to love again.

73) Not likely I will.

74) I was once a prolific finish carpenter, plumber and electrician. I miss doing that stuff.

75) I used to run ten miles a day. Everyday. It might be keeping me alive.



Blogger infinitesimal said...


the bruises?

I get puncture marks sometimes....

i sleep alone.

i am not a junkie.

8:08 AM  

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