Tuesday, January 16, 2007

It May Be My Nature...

...but I seem to notice things others don't. I'm a constant observer. Maybe I'm just clearly crazy, which I won't rule out.

I saw something at the bank today that sent my retinas into some sort of fuzzy confusion. So much so that it left me speechless for a few seconds.

I'm all for women's cleavage and anticipate any chance I'm given to gaze upon it, given, of course, the fact that it's good cleavage. Over sized women don't have good cleavage. They're just fat and so are their boobs and they kinda spill out of their blouses that are too small. The teller today is one of those women. Short, fat and trying to flaunt her buxomness. Not overly so, to her credit, but enough that were it a smaller woman with the same endowment it would have been enough for me to gaze upon them surreptitiously until my transaction was over.

But to my surprise, it looked like there was mildew in this woman's titties. I kid you not. I was reluctant to concentrate my leering upon said area, but it was so obvious that it sent my synapses into a spin. I wanted to help the lady for fear that the culture could perhaps start eating her skin. Since the bank is in my local market I immediately thought of sprinting to the cleaning section and scarfing a bottle of X-14 to quell this outbreak. But I wasn't sure she would have appreciated my effort. I mean spritzing her may not have been socially acceptable.

I pondered this on the way home and decided that if I ever personally encounter another set of big titties I'm going to do an EPA evaluation on them first. After all, there could be Radon in those suckers as well.


Anonymous hammer said...

reminds me of the story where the oversized aldy with dementia hid tuna sandwiches under her tits becuase she thought her family was trying to starve her.

Of course they were soon forgotten under there but not for long.

11:57 AM  
Blogger Elisson said...

Hammer's story may sound insane, but I have at least one doctor buddy who has had to deal with majorly obese women - at least one of which had been suffering from "Sandwich Lost Under Titty" syndrome.

Of course, more than just the Obese Lady suffers in a case like this. Anyone within nose-shot suffers as well.

2:04 AM  

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