Saturday, October 14, 2006

I'm LL's...

...alter ego today.

All disclaimers apply.

DAMN. Not a good start to the day. The big monkey was acting all pissy this morning when I woke her up and she refused to get out of bed. I went ahead and cooked breakfast for the little monkey and went and took a shower and then tried to get the little bitch up again. Once she finally dragged her butt out from under the covers and shuffled out to eat I crawled my ass into the shower. I stayed up WAY to late last night looking at some porn and doing some "Tim The Toolman Taylor' work on my itchy-kitty. When I got out I put on my panties and bra and slid into my lowriders. Back into the bathroom to do the face and the little monkey comes crashing through the door because he has to drain the snake. WTF. Knock buddy. With an exasperated look on my face he starts peeing. Then, THEN, when I ask him what he's doing, he turns and pisses all over my right leg. DAMN!!

So Mom calls today and she informs me that she thinks I should give up the bike thing. Not womanly. Time to get a good man. Fuck. When will this woman learn that I am NOT her. I can't even express the outrage I felt from that comment. I ride to feel free. It's not a gender thing. It clears my head. Makes me feel like I'm myself. You think it's easy raising two monkeys? My bike time is mine. And yeah, I think the ex gets it. So shitcan it Mom.

Question Friday
Why do men piss you off so much?

Because, basically, they think with their cocks. I love men, I really do. They excite me. I love feeling them. I love their arms, their abs, their ass. But I'm more than a piece of meat. Treat me like I'm a lover, not a shank of beef hide. So if you need qualification, go here.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thanks that was a picturesque ride.

Men do think with their johnsons. It's natural. The way to find out if a man is worth a shit is to look at how they treat you after they have spilled the seed.

Many men cannot think clearly or act appropriately with a "loaded gun" Before your next date make them go into the bathroom and fill a dixie cup. If they still want to buy you dinner or take you to a concert you may have a winner.

9:07 PM  
Blogger GalacticallyStupid said...

Well said.

10:00 PM  
Blogger QofD said...

Ok. Seriously? This is the funniest shit I have read EVER. And I'm not just saying that because I have had a twelve pack of beer and dropped acid. You are a comedic god.

4:57 AM  
Blogger GalacticallyStupid said...

Acid? Like Drano? Jenny, why do you do that to yourself?

5:15 AM  

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