Have You Ever Noticed...

...the sexual innuendos involved in cooking?

I don't cook much anymore, nor do I have sex, so I'm not sure why I'm even writing about this. But there's always hope on the horizon. Being the shut-in that I am, I was watching the babes cook on the Food Channel this morning and some phrases used peeked my pork loin, so to speak.

For instance...

• Is this not the best looking piece of meat you've ever seen?
  
  
• You don't want to beat this meat too hard.
  
  
• I think I could eat this meat raw, it looks so good.
  
  
• Always make sure you tenderize your meat before you stick it in your oven.
  
  
• After that trip in the oven the meat might shrink.
  
  
• Don't go anywhere, because when we come back I'm gonna show you my rack.
  
  
• Doesn't that meat look good in my rack?
  
  
• I love getting my hands all wrapped into this meat.
  
  
• You want to make sure the meat isn't too hot before you put it in the oven. It might overcook too soon.
  
  
• You could put this sauce over almost anything, even meat.
  
  
• Sometimes your meat will cook too quickly, so work with it gently.
  
  
• OHHH, look at this meat. Yummmm.
  
  
• I'm cooking a special dinner for my sister's husband, because I know he loves my meat.
  
  
• Don't let the smell of the clams deter you. It tastes great.
  
  
• Just give it a little wiggle before you take it out.
  
  
• Make sure you roll the nuts in your juices, then spread them all over your rack.
  
  
  I'm off to get a burger, or something...