Saturday, April 28, 2007

Have You Ever Noticed...

...the sexual innuendos involved in cooking?

I don't cook much anymore, nor do I have sex, so I'm not sure why I'm even writing about this. But there's always hope on the horizon. Being the shut-in that I am, I was watching the babes cook on the Food Channel this morning and some phrases used peeked my pork loin, so to speak.

For instance...

  • Is this not the best looking piece of meat you've ever seen?

  • You don't want to beat this meat too hard.

  • I think I could eat this meat raw, it looks so good.

  • Always make sure you tenderize your meat before you stick it in your oven.

  • After that trip in the oven the meat might shrink.

  • Don't go anywhere, because when we come back I'm gonna show you my rack.

  • Doesn't that meat look good in my rack?

  • I love getting my hands all wrapped into this meat.

  • You want to make sure the meat isn't too hot before you put it in the oven. It might overcook too soon.

  • You could put this sauce over almost anything, even meat.

  • Sometimes your meat will cook too quickly, so work with it gently.

  • OHHH, look at this meat. Yummmm.

  • I'm cooking a special dinner for my sister's husband, because I know he loves my meat.

  • Don't let the smell of the clams deter you. It tastes great.

  • Just give it a little wiggle before you take it out.

  • Make sure you roll the nuts in your juices, then spread them all over your rack.


    I'm off to get a burger, or something...

2 Comments:

Blogger Groovy Lady said...

LOL.. those were all excellent. Damn I never new talking about food could make me so horny. :P

10:22 PM  
Blogger GalacticallyStupid said...

Wanna role my beef stick?

11:00 PM  

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