I Very Rarely...
...get knocks on my door. And since I have a peep hole I'll usually do the hand over the hole thingy and have a peek.In this case I didn't recognize the individual, except for the fact that she was female and holding a clipboard. Some sort of solicitor I surmised. So I went back and parked my ass in my chair and continued to throw wine down my gullet. Now I should make you aware of the fact that when I get home I throw on the sweats and long undie top and pretty much look like a refugee from some concentration camp. And I wear an old pair of half-glasses so as to add to my mystique.
Also, although the apartment is small, I have it looking fairly nifty. Six Ansel Adams prints adorn the walls, along with some other obscure pictures. It's kinda messy this time of year with Christmas boxes and presents scattered about. That's the background.
So this persistent knocker wasn't about to give up. I did another gape and again decided I wasn't about to engage her. But like a woodpecker she was going to get to the heart of the tree, so I reluctantly opened the door. There stood a fairly attractive black woman, bundled in a winter coat. She informed me that her name was Stephanie and she was from TWC and could she offer me some sort of upgrade that would most likely save me lots of moola. Now I pay $52.00 a month for standard cable, which I consider to be an outrage. It's worth about $20. But this little person was going to try to get me to subscribe to high-speed internet, digital phone, HDTV and the like. I politely declined and said I was fine. The whole time her eyes kept scoping out my place. Incessantly. I notice stuff like that. When I POLITELY declined the third time, after she asked me what service I have at the moment, which she already knew because she told me what I have, my ire had had enough and I had to go to the well. I told her she was welcome to come in and look around the apartment and present her package if she did it while she was naked. The look on her face was priceless. She scooted outta here right damned quick. I don't know if it's illegal to say that. I reckon not. Guess she didn't really need the commission. Shame. Might be a small Christmas.
Also, although the apartment is small, I have it looking fairly nifty. Six Ansel Adams prints adorn the walls, along with some other obscure pictures. It's kinda messy this time of year with Christmas boxes and presents scattered about. That's the background.
So this persistent knocker wasn't about to give up. I did another gape and again decided I wasn't about to engage her. But like a woodpecker she was going to get to the heart of the tree, so I reluctantly opened the door. There stood a fairly attractive black woman, bundled in a winter coat. She informed me that her name was Stephanie and she was from TWC and could she offer me some sort of upgrade that would most likely save me lots of moola. Now I pay $52.00 a month for standard cable, which I consider to be an outrage. It's worth about $20. But this little person was going to try to get me to subscribe to high-speed internet, digital phone, HDTV and the like. I politely declined and said I was fine. The whole time her eyes kept scoping out my place. Incessantly. I notice stuff like that. When I POLITELY declined the third time, after she asked me what service I have at the moment, which she already knew because she told me what I have, my ire had had enough and I had to go to the well. I told her she was welcome to come in and look around the apartment and present her package if she did it while she was naked. The look on her face was priceless. She scooted outta here right damned quick. I don't know if it's illegal to say that. I reckon not. Guess she didn't really need the commission. Shame. Might be a small Christmas.
posted by GalacticallyStupid at 11:49 PM
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