Saturday, November 04, 2006

Having Spent The Better Part Of My Life...

...working in a field that required my skinny ass to awake at 3:30 in the morning, I haven't been able to shake that habit, so I continue with it to this day. I'm not a happy person when I wake up, in the sense that I'm wondering what the hell I'm doing up at that hour when I don't HAVE to be at work until 9:00. And if my ass ain't happy, then you won't be either, and I don't want to watch happy people on TV. Which is why I never watch any of those early morning shows like GMA. Nobody is that happy in the morning.

So about ten years ago I got hooked on Imus In The Morning on MSNBC. It's sophomoric and Imus rants on and on about the same goddamn shit everyday, but for the most part it's watchable. But over the past year or so it's started to make me wanna go give myself a latte enema. When they first started their ranch for kids with cancer I contributed. Hell, I have cancer so it seemed like a good thing to do. But then they started this greening the cleaning thing where they developed some products that are supposed to be non-toxic and all organic.

Now let me say this. This is not an indictment of the Imus'. They do splendid work and I support it. It's just the bullshit things we care about in society nowadays. Super white teeth, fake tits, six-pack abs, extraordinary kids that never get a chance to be kids, extended care facilities that take care of aged parents because we don't want to do it. Hell, my Grandma had dentures, which I saw in a glass every night before I went to bed. I bet Grandpa was a happy man, but he died before I was born, so I never got to ask him.

This whole organic thing is bullshit. I'm not even sure what it means. They claim it's all natural. Some of the most toxic substances in the world are found in their natural state. So the manufacturers of them have to do something to alter the toxic state. Same thing applies to the fruits and veggies that they prominently display as organic in the market. Hell, I don't care if it's had some pesticides or some other thing sprayed on it in the field. I can wash it off. As long as it don't attack my colon and make it want to crawl out of my navel I'm fine with it. The Imus' want you to not have any toxic cleaning products in your home because it's bad for kids health. Asthma and stuff you know. I have been in a house with two kids, which happen to be my own, and I was the major cleaner. And back then I used what worked. The eldest never had asthma, the younger one did. BAD. But it ran in our families. Which go back a long way, before they had the additives they had when my sons were born. So when my uncle had asthma, I doubt they had even invented the additives they put in cleaning products. Chances are, knowing my Grandma like I did, she just cleaned with soapy water. That's what I remember. My point. Get off this nouveau thing of trying to keep my ass alive and making money off of people you scare. I just sprayed undiluted bleach in my toilet because the monkey got out of it's cage and shit all over the damned place. I do not fear for my life at the moment. Other than that thing that seems to be coming out of my navel.


Blogger Enemy of the Republic said...

I agree. Mornings are not nice for working.

11:02 PM  
Blogger QofD said...

Sure they are. If they are still drunk from the night before.

4:01 AM  
Blogger Libby Spencer said...

I can't stand it when people are cheery in the morning. It's fine if they're all peppy but leave me out of it until I wake up - which takes a while.

3:37 PM  
Blogger hammer said...

I used to be peppy but now I don't get to sleep till 3am. When the alarm goes off at 6:15 I'm a bastard on wheels.

4:56 PM  
Blogger curmudgeon said...

Eat organic veggies? Are these people nuts? Why would I want to eat veggies that had bugs all over them, and never had the advantage of having fertilizers applied?
Bug-ridden, mineral deficient garbage. Who would wanna eat that shit?

8:46 PM  

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