Speaking Of...

...narcissism, I never had to deal with it. I grew up as a gangly kid. Hell, when I played in tennis tournaments people marvelled at my ability to get around because they thought I had polio. That'll give your ass some self-esteem and confidence issues . I didn't 'come into my own' until my early twenties when I had a job rigging textile machines. I developed 18" awesome biceps. I lost those a long time ago, but they served me well at the time. But I never liked the fact that people would always comment on them, because I knew I had a fairly astute intellect. Back then it wasn't the kind of comments that you would hear today, because the self-aggrandizement that accompanies working out wasn't prevelant. It was a by-product of a job, and people were just stunned that a skinny little kid had arms and a chest. But it did help my persona. I felt confident, in so far as I could accomplish things, not bed women. I never did go for that.

I'll never forget a very brief comment the X,her friend and I had one night after we got done with a night of dancing with the stars. We'd been out frolicing on the floor for almost six hours. I had to work the next day, which meant getting up at 4 AM. We finished about 1 AM and they were all hungry, so they decided we should go eat. This was a Saturday night, so keep in mind that I had been up since four that morning, had been to work for five hours, came home and did the usual chores, and then went out. So we went to a 24-hour greasy spoon we frequented. As we waited a bit and finally got a table, and we were all sitting down, the X's friend said that I was a 'very handsome man'. Her words, not mine. My response was, in my typical self-deflecting way, was, 'you must be drunk'. The X chimed in and said 'Of course you are. I wouldn't have married you if you weren't'. And here I had it in my mind that she married me for my humor and huge male appendage. It didn't make any difference. Two years later my ass was history.

My point? I don't have one, other than if you base anything solely on looks, then you will be sorely disappointed in the long run. They pass as the sun rises and shines. You can alter the exterior, but the part that makes you who you are can't be changed by any type of surgery.

I'm tired of typing and I'm going to do something with my hands. Don't ask...I'm a handsome man...