Please, Holy Mother...

...of the god of "who gives a shit", please send KJ to my door tonight for an all night sexcapade wherein I fuck myself too death so I don't have to put up with the incessant coverage of some dipshit that confessed to a murder that happened ten years ago, where he somehow snuck the poor girl out of her bedroom to the basement, drugged and raped her, then found cryptic instruments to write a ransom note. On the day after XMas, and her parents never woke up, nor did the brother. KJ, a few beers might save my ass, but only if I'm licking them off your, well, never mind.