Friday Funnies...
Coma
A woman was in a coma and had been in it for months. Nurses were in her room giving her a blanket bath. One of them was washing her private area and noticed there was a slight response on the monitor when she touched her. They tried it again and sure enough there was sizable movement. They went to her husband and explained what happened, telling him, “As crazy as this sounds, maybe a little oral sex will do the trick and bring her out of the coma. The husband was sceptical, but they assured that they’d close the curtains for privacy. The husband finally agreed and went into his wife’s room. After a few minutes the woman’s monitor flat lined, no pulse, no heart rate. The nurses ran back into the room. “What happened”? they cried. The husband said, “I’m not sure……maybe she choked“?
Apartment For Rent
A businessman met a beautiful girl and agreed to spend the night with her for $500. They did their thing, and, before he left, he told her that he did not have any cash with him, but he would have his secretary write a cheque and mail it to her, calling the payment “RENT FOR APARTMENT.” On the way to the office, he regretted what he had done, realizing that the whole event had not been worth the price. So he had his secretary send a cheque for $250 and enclose the following typed note:
“Dear Madam,
Enclosed find a cheque for $250 for rent of your apartment. I am not sending the amount agreed upon, because when I rented the place, I was under the impression that:
1. - it had never been occupied;
2. - there was plenty of heat; and
3. - it was small enough to make me feel cosy and at home.
However, I found out that:
1. - it had been previously occupied,
2. - there wasn’t any heat, and
3. - it was entirely too large.”
Upon receipt of the note, the girl immediately returned the cheque for $250 with the following note:
“Dear Sir,
1. - I cannot understand how you could expect a beautiful apartment to remain unoccupied indefinitely.
2. - As for the heat, there is plenty of it, if you know how to turn it on.
3. - Regarding the space, the apartment is indeed of regular size, but if you don’t have enough furniture to fill it, please do not blame the management. Please send the rent in full or we will be forced to contact your present landlady .
A woman was in a coma and had been in it for months. Nurses were in her room giving her a blanket bath. One of them was washing her private area and noticed there was a slight response on the monitor when she touched her. They tried it again and sure enough there was sizable movement. They went to her husband and explained what happened, telling him, “As crazy as this sounds, maybe a little oral sex will do the trick and bring her out of the coma. The husband was sceptical, but they assured that they’d close the curtains for privacy. The husband finally agreed and went into his wife’s room. After a few minutes the woman’s monitor flat lined, no pulse, no heart rate. The nurses ran back into the room. “What happened”? they cried. The husband said, “I’m not sure……maybe she choked“?
Apartment For Rent
A businessman met a beautiful girl and agreed to spend the night with her for $500. They did their thing, and, before he left, he told her that he did not have any cash with him, but he would have his secretary write a cheque and mail it to her, calling the payment “RENT FOR APARTMENT.” On the way to the office, he regretted what he had done, realizing that the whole event had not been worth the price. So he had his secretary send a cheque for $250 and enclose the following typed note:
“Dear Madam,
Enclosed find a cheque for $250 for rent of your apartment. I am not sending the amount agreed upon, because when I rented the place, I was under the impression that:
1. - it had never been occupied;
2. - there was plenty of heat; and
3. - it was small enough to make me feel cosy and at home.
However, I found out that:
1. - it had been previously occupied,
2. - there wasn’t any heat, and
3. - it was entirely too large.”
Upon receipt of the note, the girl immediately returned the cheque for $250 with the following note:
“Dear Sir,
1. - I cannot understand how you could expect a beautiful apartment to remain unoccupied indefinitely.
2. - As for the heat, there is plenty of it, if you know how to turn it on.
3. - Regarding the space, the apartment is indeed of regular size, but if you don’t have enough furniture to fill it, please do not blame the management. Please send the rent in full or we will be forced to contact your present landlady .
posted by GalacticallyStupid at 1:28 PM
2 Comments:
TOO TOO FUNNY - GREAT STUFF - THANKS FOR POSTING
My pleasure. Glad you got a chuckle out of it.
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