Sunday, April 01, 2007

We All Have Issues...

...which we deal with as best we can.

I've never shit in someone's kitchen. I'm not sure how one even conceives of doing that. I've had some bad meals that made me think I needed to, but I thought better of it. It would have been rude and uncouth, doesn't one think?

I once made out with my Dad's secretary in their kitchen at the company Christmas party. She was drunk and needed some loving. Her husband was even more inebriated and walked in to get a refill and walked right past us. Never said a word. She had some huge titties. I put vanilla on her nipples. Well, it was right there in the cupboard. What's one to do?

The ex and the boys came up one weekend for a family wedding. Their family, not mine. Her twin sister threw up all over my kitchen wall two minutes after see walked in the apartment. That was back when she was drinking 24/7. She never offered to clean it up. Just kept on drinking and went out on the porch to admire the lake. Nor did her husband. I have a pretty strong constitution, so cleaning it up wasn't an issue. Just glad she didn't shit.

And you thought kitchens were just for cooking.


Blogger Queen of Dysfunction said...

I am soooo using that flyer after my current marriage dissolves in a flurry of Twinkies and accusations of leaving the cap off the toothpaste, when I find a new boyfriend who is not very good for me but serves a purpose until he shits on my kitchen floor.

4:17 AM  
Blogger GalacticallyStupid said...

Sista, Sista, you are one funny beotche...

7:48 AM  

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