Friday NIght Bullets...

...for your reading pleasure, or not. I'm ornery and have a ferret up my ass.

• That issue I was having with no internet connection. Turns out I can blame Bill Gates and his knappy-ass hormonal OS. Turns out someone in the complex installed a wireless router sometime between Monday night and Tuesday afternoon. I never noticed when I logged in. All I saw was that I was connected wirelessly. After spending two nights on the phone with Verizon techs with no satisfactory resolution, and 2 1/2 hours each night that cut into my drinking time, I came home last night and finally noticed that my wireless connection had a different name. When I opened the connections I saw that I was connected to someone else's router. Never had a warning, as I should have. No nothing. XP just latched onto it like a newborn to a nipple. Once I disconnected from it and connected to my VPN, waited three hours for a new MAC address from my internet provider and rebooted everything, I was back in business. I hate Bill Gates, but I'd fuck his wife, just because it seems fitting.
  
  
• I don't care what anyone says, the CBS Nightly News cut it's own throat when they hired that self-absorbed twat Couric. NBC has a fill-in for Brian Williams named Campbell Brown. She's outstanding. Does the news. Doesn't make it about herself. Looks good. CBS should hire her.
  
  
• This is my latest addition to the meager homestead. It's a combination air freshener/cleaner and humidifier. You add water to it, some sort of smell good shit and turn that fucker on. It actually cleans the air, so they say. Seems to work. Water gets dirty, I guess from cleaning out the impurities in my humble abode. Or it could be from my ass. Guess there's no way to tell.
  
  
• I have an F-150. All Ford's since 1997 have a Passive Anti Left System. It means no one can steal your care. They can break in, but no way they can drive it away. There's a chip in the key that activates something that does something else. I'm all good with that. This morning when I got to work this little light kept blinking when I cut the engine off. It was the theft light. I've owned this damned truck for five years and I have never seen this. I called the dealer and asked if this was SOP. Never heard of it was the response I got. Did the requisite internet search. Nothing. Would make sense for it to blink, since it is an alarm, but how in the hell in five years did I miss it? Went and asked two fellow employees that recently purchased Mustang GT's. Yep, flashes all the time. Got home, after stopping at the store. No flashing. Ain't technology great.
  
  
• I cut my hair tonight. I've been doing it now for almost three years. Zip, zip and I'm done. Oldest always wants to know how I get the back so even. No explanation, especially given the fact that my hands shake like I'm Michael Fox. I try to choke the chicken and I end up cleaning out navel lint. But I once worked at a screen printing place in my early twenties and the owner had an old codger employed as an artist and this gentleman's hands shook at the speed of light. I stood mesmerized watching him paint and wondered how in the hell he did it. I asked him once. He said if he didn't drink he couldn't paint, but if he drank his hands would shake and he'd paint even worse. So he just made up his mind that he'd drink and not worry about the shaking. Seemed to work. The guy was really good.