There Are Aliens...

...or evil celestial beings, perhaps even Klingons that have poked holes in my force shield. It took me a long time to build that sonofabitch, too. But they are doing it by trying to tickle my butt.

They entice me with lovely maidens only to shoot their artillery and make my ass pucker up and then explode with a spew of bile from my stupidity. It pains the porcelain. It cries out for a suspension of this evil vile that I subject it to. I cry out in anguish pleading for at least a minor suspension of this onslaught. To no avail, I am riddled relentlessly with the arrows of bad decison. I fear for my ass and my porcelain. They have also feared for their safety and have fled the ship. I am without my captains. The neighbors will not be happy.