I Used To Be...

...a really good tennis player in my late teens, early twenties. Wanted to be a pro, but once I got into tournaments where there were others that had the same aspirations I knew fairly early that I wasn't going to make it. Although I kept in touch with the game and kept playing on a social level, once I got married and had kids I bagged the whole deal. Later on I would try to watch the important tournaments but I couldn't stomach the grunting the players did. Every shot produced some sort of guttural sound that seemed akin to wildebeests having wild ass sex. So I quit watching. But this week I come to learn that they named the complex in NY where they play the US Open after some fat homo woman. WTF?? Life as I know it keeps spinning out of control. Ahhh, not to worry. I don't watch fat women having sex, yet...