Friday, November 17, 2006

Friday Night Lights...

...well, not really. More like Friday night lights out. It is what it is.

  • I can think of nothing more obsolete in this day and age than a watch. We have clocks on VCR's and DVD's. Computers have them. Cell phones do also. Our vehicles as well. I haven't worn one in more than five years and I never miss it. If you choose to move out to the nether regions of Oregon or live in the boonies somewhere, you're likely not to need one anyways, because you've chosen to live there so as not to be encumbered by time and the trappings of modern life.

  • They, being the FDA, have approved some sort of breast implant thingy. I guess it's not supposed to kill your ass if it starts to leak or something. Why women would do this still confounds me. You have what you have. Not all men are about the titty-meat. But what continually confuses me is that you will, at some point in time, get hit with this line. "Quit starring at my new 36 D's". Hell, I thought that was the whole point.

  • I stopped at the market on the way home tonight to get my cheap ass boxed Merlot so I could calm the beast within. It wasn't crowded for a Friday night, so I walked swiftly, as always, in an effort to get in and out, so a panic attack wouldn't render me incapacitated in the frozen food section and some poor stranger find me suckling on a Jimmy Dean steak biscuit with poop pouring into my socks. While sprinting, I noticed no less than ten people on their cell phones, soliciting some sort of advice about a recipe or looking to hook up with friends. I can only surmise, mind you, but why else does one feel the need to jabber while engaging in such a banal activity.

  • OK, where was I? Had to take a break and cut my hair. I do it myself now. When I lived in my previous city I had a great barber. I'd get it cut every month, he knew what to do and I'd leave looking sculpted. When I moved here I would travel back and forth to see the folks and would just schedule an appointment on the weekend with Robert and all was good. Then during some lull I had to get it cut here. Not a good idea. Some Korean lady got a hold of me and after about five minutes of watching my locks get sheared like a ewe, she pipes "You have tough hair to cut." No shit Mai Ling. After that I kept trying to wear it the same way but it didn't work. So, on a trip to the Mom's homestead I made an appointment with Robert and told him to take a #4 and chop it off. He looked at me like I was bat shit crazy. He tried his best to make it look right, but it wasn't what I wanted. So when I got home that Sunday, I pulled out the clippers and whacked it off. Brad Pitt style. Worn it that way ever since. Was going to grow it out again, but today I just said fuck it and weedeated it again. It's just so much easier. Ya get your ass out of the shower and rub the water off and you're good to go. Now, if I could only get the Pitt good looks. Do they sell something like that at Target?

  • I live near a big Mall. And I mean near. Like three minutes near. I've been there a few times. But as always, it's just to run in to a store to get something lickity-split and get the hell out. Like every six months or so. They light a Christmas tree every year. They are doing it this Saturday. Five days BEFORE Thanksgiving. The older I get the less I can deal with holidays. I don't like getting gifts, number one, because there really isn't anything I need. If I do, I'll buy it. And I have no idea what to get others in the family. The kids are easy. MONEY. No brainer. But the brothers and such, I have no idea. I usually try to come up with a unique gift idea, but it would suit me if we just culled the whole gift thing and just did it for the kids. And the TV station sponsoring the lighting is playing it up to the hilt. Celebs and shit. Damn. I hate this time of year.

  • Isn't it always the case that when you are close to having paid off a vehicle it starts to fuck up? I have three payments left on the F-150. I've never kept a vehicle this long, and except for one hiccup, it's been reliable as hell. I've kept up with the maintenance as scheduled and when I climb in it I always feel like she'll do her thing. Hell, I even have three nails in the tires and I haven't had to change them yet. But I do need some new rubber. So the other day, the turn indicators quit working when I tilt the steering column down. I can use them when I keep the column up, which at least keeps my ass out of danger. But this will be an expensive fix. But doesn't it just suck ass when you think you might have an extra $400 bucks in your pocket a month because you don't have a car payment and it ends up going to just that thing. There's some bad demons out there.

  • People are out there beating, slugging and killing people for the new PS3. WTF. Your ass gets shot because you have a game thingy? Somebody put one up on E-Bay and I think the last bid was over $100,000. I need a new planet to live on.


Blogger Libby Spencer said...

Wow. You go every six months to the mall? I go every six years or so just to prove I can do it. I loathe the mall, especially at the holiday shopping frenzy time.

8:54 PM  
Blogger GalacticallyStupid said...

No Libby, I don't. Once a year at the most, usually, unless Target or Wal-Mart don't have what I'm looking for.

11:06 PM  

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