I'm About As Good At Science...

...as I am at math. Which basically means I suck at both of them. You ask me to add more than two numbers together or tell you the periodic element of oxygen and you might as well be looking at a four-eyed monkey trying to figure out a Rubic's cube.

But I try not to be totally ignorant of either. I have my flash cards for addition and subtraction, which I go through every night before I go to bed. And I smell my armpits to make sure I don't keep myself awake at night.

I am aware of the scientific evidence that says what attracts people to one another are pheromones. Smells. Seems kinda odd to me that an odor we exude would get your ass laid, but hey, I'm all for garlic and shit. Of course, I'm sure it must go to a deeper scientific level, because my farts have never attracted anything but a yard dog looking for the spoiled meat it smelt.

But it makes me curious as to how people get hooked up on the interweb. They talk, they like, they get involved. But how do they know the smelly stuff is gonna work? If they finally decide to meet, what happens? They sniff around for a bit to see if it's gonna work? I have a cologne that I bought that is actually named "Pheralure". It's supposed to override your natural pheromones and make you overly attractive to the opposite sex. I haven't spritzed in on much, but when I do, the only results I've seen is that my right hand starts shaking uncontrollably and starts doing that chewing thing that hands do when you place your thumb under your forefinger and it starts acting like it's talking. That concerns me, on many levels.

So it rests on my bathroom counter. I would try and spray it on my puter screen when talking to a hot babe, but I'm not sure that would work.

So, my question is, if you get somewhat involved with someone over the digital medium, what happens if the smell ain't no good when you meet?

Just a thought. Most of which are just totally idiotic when I think about it.