Please, Go Bury Your Head...

...in a pot of peanut oil. In my pitiful existential environment I watch cooking shows on the weekend. It doesn't take much thought, I drink to feel included in the show, and I don't cook. But I used to. So I let them do it. But dammit, don't start pulling pronunciations outta your ass. Paprika. Pap-reek-a. That's how we all say it. Some dimwitted skank of a panty wearing fag (no, not the girl in the pic) pronounced it papricka. I choked my own damned self. His mother should impale herself on her best butterknife.

Waiter...another round...